How I Flunked Out of Dog Obedience School

Cheyenne was an original pound puppy. We got her when she was six months old and she had developed a few bad habits. So we signed her up for Dog Obedience School. What I didn't know was that the teacher used a combination of pain, embarrassment, and public humiliation to get her point across, for the owners, that is, not the dogs. There were about thirty suckers (whoops) people enrolled with their dogs. We met in a warehouse. Class consisted of making two circles and then walking our dogs around in a circle so they could exhibit whatever skill it was they were supposed to have learned.

I've always thought of our dogs as family members. I talked to them as if they were my children.They were encouraged to sleep on the couch (with me), I indulged them with a lot of bones and treats, and always told them where I was going and when I'd be back. I did draw the line at feeding them at the table. We always put their plate on the floor. So it went against my grain as a mother, teacher, and just plain nice human being to embarrass my children in public. I always dragged them aside somewhere -usually the cookie aisle in the grocery store, and gently whispered in their ear, "If you don't quit asking for stuff - I'm going to smack you."
You can see the problem.
It was the third class and Cheyenne still wasn't behaving properly. She wasn't "walking", "sitting", or "staying" like she should have been. So I stooped over, picked up one floppy ear and started whispering to her what I needed her to do. At this the instructor screamed all the way across the room, "You are ruining that dog!" She proceeded to point out everything I was doing wrong. I was the class' "bad example".
After that, I showed up dogless. I sat on the side and watched the parade. I'd paid my money, I had a right to be there. After I withdrew from the circle she found a new "bad example".
Cheyenne and I graduated in absentia with a doggie diploma and a certificate of attendance.